Foul Mouth Agents
by Luthis
Summary: J and Spin are learning how to use bad words. A parody based on a SpongeBob episode.
1. Part 1

Fowl Mouth Agents

Part 1

(In this Fan-fiction, all of the agents and divas are ten years younger than their original age.)

It was just a normal night for the Elite Beat Agents, everyone was getting ready to call it a day and go home. Agents Spin, J, and Chieftain were typing down their reports of the missions that they had recently completed.

"Writing down reports is the worst thing that I have ever done." Spin said.

"Writing down reports is the greatest thing that I have ever done." J said.

"Are you guys done yet?" Chieftain said.

"Yeah, we just got to e-mail this to the commander." Spin said.

After finishing the reports, Spin and J were about to leave the building.

"Well, see you later guys." J said, waving.

"Hold on, pompadour boy!" Chieftain said, grabbing his curly, Swiss roll looking part of his hair.

"Take that piece of trash out with you." Chieftain said, pointing at Agent Derek holding a trash bag.

"Chieftain, you can't talk to Derek like that." J said.

"He meant the trash bag, you moron!" Derek said.

J was walking to the garbage disposal at the back of the EBA building. As he threw the trash into the garbage disposal, he found some graffiti writings on the wall of the building.

"Hmm…graffiti writings, the voice of the people." J said.

He begins to read the graffiti writings on the wall. There were some funny and weird writings that the pompadour agent had found like "Up with bubbles, down with air," Headphones are awesome," and "Elite Beat Divas RULE!"

"Whoever wrote that, is so right about that." J said.

J was about the leave and go home until he found a unfinished sentence on the graffiti covered wall, J began to examine the sentence.

"Hmm…what's this? 'Khan is a…"

J found a word in the sentence that he had never heard of before, he tried to pronounce the word, and he finally said it.

"Khan is a !" J said.

"Oh my God, did you kiss your mother with that mouth?" said Kaoru, a man with white curly hair wearing a blue uniform with a red cape.

"Well sometimes, but not recently." J said.

As Kaoru walks away, Spin was walking towards his fellow mentor that was reading the graffiti writings.

"Hey, what's up?" Spin said.

"I was putting the trash on this disposal, and I've found this word," J said, pointing at the "new word" on the wall. "do you know what it means?"

Spin examines the "word" and began to pronounce it.

"" Spin said.

"Do you know what it is?" J said.

"I think it's one of those sentence enhancers." Spin said.

"Sentence enhancers?"

"Yeah, you use it when you want to talk fancy, you just sprinkle the words on anything you say, and BOOM! You've got yourself a yummy sentence sandwich."

"Cool, let's try it out."

And so, J and Spin decide to use the "sentence enhancers" so they can talk fancy.

To Be Continued…


	2. Part 2

Fowl Mouth Agents

Part 2

When you see this symbol "#," That means that it is a curse word

* * *

After J and Spin were using the "sentence enhancers," they finally decided to call it a day.

The next day, Agents Derek, Morris, J, and Spin were on a mission. Jane and her boyfriend/quarterback football player Don Tanner needed help babysitting the kids again. J and Spin thought it was okay to use their "sentence enhancers" in front of them.

"Come on, guys. If we were able to help them before, then we can do it again." Derek said.

"Yeah, let's do it." Morris said.

As soon as the agents were about to get their groove on, J and Spin began to use their "sentence enhancers."

"HEY, EVERYBODY, LOVELY #ING DAY WE'RE HAVING, HUH? J said on his microphone. Everyone that was inside Jane's house (excluding Spin) was in total shock to hear J say that word. Jane and Don had to cover the children's ears to make sure that they did not hear it.

"Hey, Spin. How the # are you?" J said.

"Pretty #ing good." Spin said.

"I thought this was a mission, not a gutter mouth contest!" Morris said.

J had grabbed his microphone and began to do his own version of "spiting his lyrics."

"Attention, everyone. Today, we are going to sing "I Don't Give A# " by Lil' Jon & The Eastside Boys, then we will sing "Slob On My# " By Three 6 Mafia. These #ing songs are going to be so good, that it's going to #ing hit you like a #ng ton of #ing bricks. It will be our #ing pleasure." J said.

Derek and Morris was in total shock, with their jaws dropping down to the floor and their non-pupil eyes as big as dinner plates. Meanwhile, Agent Chieftain happened to walk by the house, and he knew that Derek, Morris, J, and Spin was in their, Chieftain had the power to sense someone's aura and know where it's coming from. He felt something weak from the agents, "They are about to fail the mission." He thought.

"Get out of this house until you learn how to talk to us like gentleman!" Jane said.

Like a football player, Don had tackled the agents out of the house. The agents had fail the mission, and were pretty upset about it. Derek and Morris were very angry at J and Spin for using their "sentence enhancers." As soon as the agents got back up from the ground, they see Chieftain standing their with a mean look on his face, ready to beat the stuffing out of anyone who made this mission unsuccessful.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Chieftain said.

"Those two fowl mouthed agents just learn a new word, and they said it in front of the kids." Derek said.

"Really, what did they say?" Chieftain said.

Morris was standing real close to Chieftain and was whispering the "word" to his ear.

"I didn't hear it, say it again." Chieftain said.

Morris increase the volume of his voice and whispered the "word to him again.

"WHAT!? SPIN AND J, COME OVER HERE, RIGHT NOW!!" Chieftain yelled.

The two agents were slowly walking towards Chieftain, and were waiting for their scolding to begin.

"I SHOULD BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU FOR USING SUCH LANGUAGE." Chieftain yelled.

"But Chief, Spin and I were using our sentence enhancers." J said.

"Yeah, It's fancy talk." Spin said.

"Their's nothing "fancy" about that word." Chieftain said.

"Are you talking 'bout # ?" Spin said.

"Yes, that one, now stop saying that, it's a bad word." Chieftain said.

"A BAD WORD!?" Spin and J both said.

"Yes, and the word you are using is known as "Word #11." That word is one of the fourteen bad words that no one should ever use."

"I thought their were only twelve of them." Morris said.

"Morris, if you been living with an Ouendan for three years, than it's fourteen." Chieftain laughs.

"That didn't make any sense." Morris said.

"Wow, fourteen bad words." J said.

"That's a lot of ing bad word." Spin said.

"Now I want both of you guys to promise that you will never use those words again." Chieftain said.

"We promise." J and Spin said.

To Be Continued


	3. Part 3: Final

Foul Mouth Agents

Part 3

It was five o' clock in the afternoon, and Spin decided to spend the night at J's house. Spin was laying on the floor, wearing a white tank top with dark blue shorts with tennis shoes while J was wearing a red t-shirt with bleached blue jeans with the curly part of his hair straighten out.

"Wow, I'm so glad Chieftain told us that the word that we were using was a bad word." J said, sitting on the black bean bag chair.

"Yeah, because good citizens like us shouldn't stain our lips with curse words." Spin said.

"Hai," J continued. "now let's play a game of Boats & Airplanes."

"Oh boy, my favorite!" Spin said.

"Come on, Missy needs a new pair of shoes." J said.

J was rolling the dice, than he finally threw the dice at the game board. Spin was looking at the dice, and it both of them displayed a picture of a boat.

"Dang, J. Looks like you have to take a ride on a boat." Spin said.

"Darn!" J said, grabbing his game piece and placing it on a picture of a boat.

"Looks like it's my turn." Spin said, as he grabbed the game dice and threw it on the game board. This time, the game dice was displaying a picture of an airplane.

"OH YEAH, AIRPLANES!!." Spin said.

Spin was getting excited as he grabbed his game piece and placed it on the picture of a airplane.

One Hour Later

"Well, looks like this is your last chance, or if you land on the boats again, you lose." Spin said.

J was looking at the game board, and he began to notice that Spin has been winning this game. J was getting upset, so he decided to role the dice one last time and hope that it lands on "Airplane" so he could get back in the game.

"AIRPLANES, AIRPLANES, AIRPLANES!!" J said.

He forcefully threw the game dice on the game board, and this time, the game dice displayed pictures of an airplane.

"ALRIGHT, AIRPLANES!" J cried.

Somehow, the dice magically moved and was now displaying a picture of a boat.

"Dang, you lose." Spin said.

J got so angry, that he started to yell.

"OH WHAT THE !"

"Whoa, you said "Word #11"" Spin said, pointing at J.

"Wait a minute, I didn't mean to say that, the word just slipped out. Come on, you got to understand." J said.

"Yeah, I understand…I'M TELLING CHIEFTAIN ON YOU!" Spin said.

Spin was getting out of J's house and running back to EBA Headquarters to tell Chieftain what J had said.

"Wait, please don't tell on me." J said, chasing Spin down the road.

"But you said ." Spin said, covering his mouth.

"Ha, now I'm going to tell on you." J said.

"Not if I tell on you first." Spin said.

Due to the fact that he was a agent with more experience, J was running faster than Spin.

"I can run faster than you." J said.

J was sprinting to Headquarters, then suddenly, he saw Spin sitting on the back of a pick-up truck holding a box of headphones, but unfortunately, the truck was going the wrong way.

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Spin said.

Finally, J went to Headquarters to tell Chieftain what Spin said.

"Chieftain, Chieftain, Chieftain." J said.

"What, what, what." Chieftain said.

"Spin, Spin, Spin."

"Yes, yes, yes."

"He said, he said, he said."

"Out with it, J!"

"Meandspinwasplayingboatsandairplanesandhehadtogoupupupandihadtoridetheboatand Spin said some…things."

"What did he say?"

"Well…spinjustsaidawordwhichhappentobewordnumberellevenwhichwasoneofthefourteenwordsthatheshouldneverhadsaid."

"…What?" Chieftain said, trying to figure out what J just said.

All of a sudden, Spin popped out of nowhere.

"Chieftain, Chieftain, Chieftain." Spin said.

Chieftain begins to sigh.

Spin and J began to argue and point fingers at each other, talking about how both of them were saying bad words, then Chieftain decides to grab their lips really hard, so they wouldn't talk.

"Now I'm going to let go of your lips, and when I do, I want you to calmly tell me what is going on!" Chieftain said.

Spin and J both shook their heads, and then Chieftain finally released his grip of holding their lips.

"He said ." Spin and J both said, pointing at each other.

"DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU NOT TO SAY THAT WORD?!" Chieftain yelled.

Chieftain grabbed both of the agents. "It's time to take out the trash!"

Thirty Minutes Later

J and Spin was forced to clean Chieftain's car as their punishment, as they were waiting for Chieftain to give them the cleaning supplies, J and Spin began to talk to each other.

"You know, Chieftain was right, their's no need for words like that." J said.

"Yeah." Spin said

"Let's make a promise, never to use those words again. We will be good citizens."

"Yeah, like Agent Chieftain."

Chieftain finally got the cleaning supplies and was walking towards Spin and J.

"As punishment for saying those bad words and failing your mission, you guys are going to clean this entire car from the interior, to the exterior." Chieftain said

While Chieftain was walking, he stub his toe on a little pebble, and then…

"OUCH, MY ING FOOT. WHAT TYPE OF HEAD PUT A ING PEBBLE ON THE ING GROUND? LOOK AT THIS , CAN'T YOU SEE I GOT A ING SWOLLEN FOOT!!" Chieftain yelled.

As Chieftain was complaining about his foot, Spin and J were counting how many bad words that Chieftain was using in his sentence.

"Whoa, that's all fourteen bad words, Spin." J said, counting all of his own fingers and four of Spin's fingers.

"We're going to tell Commander Khan about what you said." J said.

"NO! Please don't tell him." Chieftain begged.

Spin and J were sprinting to Khan's house and Chieftain was chasing them. By the time they got to Khan's house, they were knocking on the door so hard, that their were imprints of their fist on the door. Khan finally answered them.

"Hello, agents." Khan said. "What do you need?"

"First, Spin said , then Chieftain said , and then I said , and then he screamed at the top of his voice . When Chieftain said , He didn't care. Such a load of and that I ever heard in my days." J said.

Khan was silent for a moment…

Thirty Seconds Later

Spin, J, and Chieftain were cleaning the commander's house as punishment for their foul language.

"Looks like you guys are thirsty." Khan said, wearing a red island t-shirt with blue denim shorts with sandals. He was holding a tray of bottled water until he stubbed his toe on the legs of one of his chairs.

"OUCH, MY ING FOOT!" Khan said.

Chieftain, J and Spin gasped at the commander.

"What, I didn't curse, I said "freaking"." Khan said.

"Then what was that beeping noise?" Spin said.

"That was Domeki Kai's truck." Khan said, pointing at the window.

"Hello, Howard." Kai said, hitting the horn in his truck.

J, Spin, Chieftain, and Khan started laughing while they were cleaning, and they all lived happily ever after…except for Kaoru.

The End


End file.
